Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Going Internetless!

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I'm going to be gone this weekend, starting Wednesday. I will not be around a proper internet connection so I will only be posting updates and whatever on twitter.

Also I just want to point out that I'm still riding that giddy high from getting to meet Weird Al. SO MUCH CREATING RIGHT NOW. Should have lots to publish Sunday night.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Weird Al Yankovic

So, Al Yankovic's got a new book coming out on the 25th, and he's just started a book tour for it and, well, long story short: IT STARTED IN MINNEAPOLIS AND IT WAS ONLY A FEW MILES AWAY AND I WENT AND I FINALLY, FINALLY GOT TO MEET HIM.
I shook his hand and actually made myself say hi (also other words) and then got a picture and t was legitimately the most amazing thing ever. I've got a signed copy of "My New Teacher And Me" by Al Yankovic and I've got an amazing picture (in which you can barely see my smile BUT I'm totally smiling [I was like literally fighting back tears this was the most amazing thing ever you have no idea] and oh my god) so yeah. Today, June 23rd 2013, best day of my life.
I could become a bestselling author tomorrow and it wouldn't be as good of a day as today.
Click the picture for bigger size!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sunday, June 09, 2013

"Gas Station" Gets a 4-Star Review!

From Amazon user "Navy vet…vt town"

"Welcome to Minnesota….

Stella has been a clerk on the night shift for 6 years. Her boyfriend, Johnny, comes to visit once in a while....

On this snowy and cold night, the Z's come out to play! Not having much for protection in the store, they end up with an axe for Stella and a baseball bat improvised with some nails for Johnny.

This is one scary short story that will make you want to outrun the Zombies!! Will the car start or not?

I named her Stella the Severer!! What a job she does with the axe.

Will they be able to outrun and outwit these creatures?

Who will survive this attack? Any other survivors around?"

Thanks you, Amazon user "Navy vet…vt town!" Your review made my night.

Wanna download The Gas Station at The Edge Of Eternity?

Friday, June 07, 2013

The Gas Station At The Edge Of Eternity

The first in Stella's Saga, a series of short stories about post-apocalypctic dystopia involving zombies and nuclear weaponry.
Buy on Amazon for 99 cents

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

4k Hits and Moving Forward

I just wanted to pause my writing for one moment to write a quick and sincere thank you to everyone who's visited my blog since its inception. Yesterday evening my blog hit 4000 page views. It's been kind of a lumpy bumpy ride these past two-ish years that I've actually been active here. I've had times where I couldn't get three words typed, and I've had times where I've written an entire novella in less than three weeks. With me, there's not much in-between.
And with me, there's not much room for writing blog posts no matter what kind of time I'm having writing my stories. For that, I apologize. I'm not the best at social networking. I find it really difficult to post comments on others things. I'm actually really kind of afraid of not conveying myself properly and accidentally offending someone with my words when I'm typing.
When I'm speaking, on the other hand, I don't have to cherry pick my words as much. I stutter and stammer and might still have some difficulty expressing myself, but I don't have to sit and second guess what I'm saying because when I'm speaking you can tell my mood. You can plainly hear or see my expression and tone so what's meant as a compliment shouldn't come off as an insult (and vice versa).
I'm trying to push forward and force myself to speak on the internet. In fact, I've made an acquaintance in one of my lovely readers. She followed me on Twitter and it was linked to her tumblr so I followed her back on both and we ended up skyping that entire night away. It was just about the best time I'd ever had with someone on the internet.
So here's the thing: Please, do not be afraid to approach me. I want your readership, but more importantly I want your friendship. Who knows? Maybe you'll make it into one of my stories! I take a lot of my friends and put them in my stories, in one way or another.
Anyway, if you catch me on the internet, go ahead and talk to me. Bother me. Tell me I should be writing and then start enthusing about Star Trek or Doctor Who.

This month, I'm hosting an event over on fridley.patch.com. Every day, I'm posting a 50-150 word excerpt (shooting for 100 words each time, but sometimes it's a bit over and sometimes a bit under, because paragraphs) from something I'm working on. And: All through June, July and August I'll be releasing one short story every Friday or Saturday.
This week it's a zombie action gorefest.

Monday, June 03, 2013

Writing Gore

Whenever I have the chance, I like to write gratuitous violence with massive amounts of gore. It's just sort of how I am. The task of novelizing the "Hostel" series of movies would probably be about the most amazing thing I could ever do, to be honest. I'd have a blast doing it.
Some of the people who've read my more gore-filled stories (And Jessie, Too; Viscera) have asked me, point blank, how I manage to write such weirdly beautiful, vivid descriptions of a person's internal organs becoming external.
Well it's really simple: I put on Weird Al's "Pancreas" song and just kinda let it flow.
I kid you not. The happier the tune, the more vibrant and gorey the violent scene in my story will be. "Pancreas," for those who've never heard the tune, is a VERY upbeat song about the pancreas. It's bright. It's happy. It's the perfect backdrop for zombie guts to be splattering against the walls and floors.
Need to chop someone's head off in a story? Try "A Complicated Song" by Weird Al. Defenestrate someone? "Melanie" by Weird Al (even features defenestration!).
Basically, what I'm trying to say is that Weird Al is the perfect music backdrop for writing. Also I like writing gore. A lot.